on the day to day//hello to 30

something has overcome me in the last few days.  it seems to be that dark cloud of depression that was hanging over me for a week or two has dispersed as quickly as it came...and it leaves me wondering if this is what happens to everyone in that week or two leading up to 30.  it feels inevitable.  but i am thankful it seems to be like any dark cloud, eventually it dissipates and then dissolves.

i am thankful for 30.  though there are many insecurities that still gently pervade the deep crevices of mind and heart, there is another realm of securities that are equally if not more powerful.  those are what i begin today, to pursue, to feed, and to strengthen.

writing suddenly feels like a possible dream.  strange how once i formulated the habit of writing for at least 30 minutes everyday...it feels real now, to call myself a writer.  the stories flow through me...sometimes they fizzle away, and others tug at my heartstrings asking for more.  there are characters in my head, as they introduce themselves, i begin to feel what they feel and think how they think. my words become theirs and suddenly there are many voices contributing to the story that unfolds.

as 30 begins, my focus is the day to day, and not getting caught up in the worries and fears of the weeks, months, and years.

for me, the day to day looks like: prayer, growing in the knowledge of God and His Word, puppy bonding, teaching, lesson plans, grading, sharpening my craft, reading books, writing, sipping and thoroughly enjoying my morning coffee, being in the present moment.  the day to day looks like rest, and stretching myself, and unplugging from too much technology.  the day to day is about friends and family and being a dependable person that others can rely upon, enjoying elements of entertainment whether it is reading my favorite blog, watching well-written television show, or listening to meaningful tunes.

if i start thinking about 30 as a whole or thinking about the next ten years and my need to accomplish certain things, i can start to get severely overwhelmed and feel as though i may careen down into a dark and scary abyss.

but alas, the day to day, and that mindset is my salvation.  and really this is where i think God would have my thoughts focused.  the day ahead, and the purpose it has in and of itself is so meaningful and valuable.  if anything, i don't want to miss anything that each day of 30 has.

so here i am, day 1 of 30.
ready or not, God has brought me to here, and that i know has great purpose.

there's more to come, undoubtedly.