coolest chick ever (part 1)

i just have to rave about how interesting, cool, and unpretentious i find miranda july to be.

short story writer, movie maker, artistic spirit, super creative, unique heart, clever, and just ridiculously inspiring, i am just completely and utterly impressed and obsessed with her. i crave her creative capacity.

totally going on my must see list!

*after watching this film i regret to say miranda's coolness factor dropped significantly. i found this movie to be the most discouraging and depressing i had seen in awhile. i realize this is a place she comes from often, as i find the same to be true of her books, but something with this movie just sat wrong with me. i can appreciate the questions it asked, but there was no redeeming factor to any of it, no real sense of hope, and i believe these things can and should be found in any situation and circumstance. also as a result of this movie i now have a great disdain for men wearing gold chains.
shudder.
and on my must read list...

you.

last week when i saw you and you said you were glad to see me, i smiled at you because i was glad to see you too. there are words i cannot say, but i feel them, and that makes them real.

i wanted to tell you these things, these things that mean something. but they remain silent, for now.

i love how i feel when i am around you. safe. my heart whispers. safe.

you always speak so kindly to me, aware of my timidness. is it real?

i like when you stand next to me. your presence is so warm and comforting, even without a touch, i feel bound to you somehow, like we are uniquely tied.

i love watching you do what you love. it makes me smile to see you in your element. i love how you excitedly talk about your passions. there is so much joy in your spirit.

when it feels like i am forgotten, you always remind me i am not. without words, but rather with simple gestures, and unthought touch, under which my body softens, and my walls threaten to break down.

i wonder what you are really thinking. do your words speak truth?

i'm glad you're not with her anymore, but it makes me nervous. things feel possible. i've become so scared of the way that i feel. and more terrified to think, these things that hold so much meaning for me, are lost on you.

you.
can i forget you?
when all i do is dream of you?
and i wonder can we so simply be together?
can we walk hand in hand and explore the met together?
can we have leisure sundays in central park?
can we take a late subway home and stumble the remaining blocks clutching onto each other, laughing and breathing in the cool new york air?
could there be a  for always future for us?

speechless.