"My life isn't theories and formula. It's part instinct, part common sense. Logic is a good word as any, and I've absorbed what logic I have from everything and everyone...from my mother, from training as a ballet dancer, from Vogue magazine, from the laws of life and health and nature."
-Audrey Hepburn
how do you know when you've crossed the threshold from youth to adulthood? i mean, really crossed the threshold. there are very few twenty-one year olds out there that i consider to be full fledged adults. and yet as a society we often stretch back as far as eighteen years old and call that the beginning of adulthood. crazy! looking back on my life, i can only think of myself as a child then.
even now, as an almost twenty-nine year old, i still find myself saying..."when i grow up i am going to..." i think there is a value in having that mindset. hopefully, such a statement casually slipping out from time to time is no reflection on my maturity. yet, you see, i find this sort of thinking keeps me humble, keeps me from thinking i have it all figured out. funny, how i thought it all figured out at 18.
truthfully i am more than okay with not having everything figured out, or everything on that "ideal" list inside my head of what being a grown-up entailed. i don't much care for the fancy shmancy little girl dreams of adulthood anymore. i am finding that i am quite content with many parts of my grown-up life, but sometimes when i look at the lives happening around me i cannot help but feel i am missing something. it is almost as if i am not quite there. but really, i don't think i can fully explain what
there looks like.
maybe for everyone, being a grown-up looks a shade different. we are all unique. therefore, we cannot all play by the same rules. while i navigate this somewhat new terrain of adulthood, of becoming a lady, i strive to keep as much of my true self into my adult self. i never want to conform to what i think i should be simply because someone else is. i want to stay who i am and become what is true to me. knowing things i like and doing them, never doing it to impress someone else.
i like driving around town in my truck, with a dog in the passenger side, and a bike in the back in case the mood strikes for some beach cruising.
i'd of course love to have a bank account with funds enough for everything...but right now that is not a reality.
i would love to be a world traveler, and devote my days to writing and creating. i often find i long for this more than i do the family and stable career thing. sometimes i'd rather lock myself in and create
something artistic, with words. and more often than not these endeavors feel as
special as friends.
i much enjoy spending time perusing book shops and reading in a park.
and as for that husband and children thing...
sigh. it can't help but feel like there is a countdown going on. it feels like as everyone else passes those milestones it's just another reminder that i am still without. in my own head, apart from what everyone else says, for the most part, it is almost always ok to be without. go through a few heartbreaks and i'm set on never settling. and truly, right now, those can be definite down the road things. in fact, the children part can be a way, way, down the road thing. but for some reason, not having those things, can feel like i am missing a crucial piece of adulthood.
and as for having a place of my own. that too shall come. in the meantime, sharing a place, well, it will do.
as i reflected on my childlike view of adulthood, i realized there is so much more to being a grown-up than what i ever thought. i think as i grow into a grown-up, i learn more and more about what is important in being an adult, rather than having as an adult.
while i still learn the balance between the world of adult freedom and adult responsibility, i am too learning the kind of grown-up i am. and apart from all the must-haves, this is what i think i know so far...
a grown-up
lady who:
- basks in the loveliness of her sex. (dresses, perfumes, color, allowing a man to be a man.)
- knows her flaws, accepts them, and lives beyond them.
- opens her home to guests and knows that flower arrangements and baking from scratch are her fortes, while cooking and keeping a neat and tidy environment are not.
- practices kindness in all circumstances. this grown-up lady won't hit back with rudeness even if rudeness feels do. she may not always keep her middle finger down when another driver cuts her off, but she will strive not to get into petty arguments that only serve to prove immaturity and ignorance.
- reads widely and voraciously. (a well read lady knows no limits.)
- knows that relaxing is part of living, and that will do good towards herself and to those she loves.
- lavishes love on lots of animals.
- no matter how much hurt she must endure, she must never ever grow a bitter heart. though mild bouts of bitterness are a given, and a lady's prerogative.
- no matter how busy she gets, she never ever misses a sunset, an opportunity to get away to hear the ocean sing, or to celebrate something or someone special, no matter the occasion.
- is confident in her own desicion making. she consults the advice of good friends, but no one can sway her from what her gut tells her.
- takes care of herself. she eats healthy and regularly excercises, but she doesn't forget to enjoy the delights she loves on a regular basis.
- is a good friend, in singleness and in marriage, through parenthood, and those busy career building years.
- stays informed with what's going on in the world around her.
- always wears a smile...a smile can heal a hundred ills.
- maintains the respect of others.
- can have a myriad of acquaintances, but only a few "inner circle" kind of friends.
- knows that comfort is crucial, and that there is always an occasion for glamour.
- is confident traversing the city alone or journeying with a posse.
- drinks coffee in the morning, tea in the evening, and never is drunk...maybe a bit tipsy upon occasion.
- saves her money, but knows when to spend it.
- always sees the bigger picture of life, knowing Who is in control, and that she is not.
- has a lot of fun.
