on writing//why i write

back in november i attempted for the second time to participate in nanowrimo.  the whole writing 50,000 words in one month, or at least coming somewhat close to accomplishing a novel is the goal.  and i came close...well, closer than i ever have before, and that was encouraging.

but what ended up resulting from that november endeavor was a collection of vignettes rather than one big story.  i was intrigued with the product and over the past couple of months had been reviewing what had been written.  i couldn't quite piece together from those random small stories, where a larger more involved plot might take hold.

each vignette seemed to hold its own. there is potential, but nothing that quite captured me.  and for some reason i think that is what is holding me back.  i always search out and seek to hear what inspired writers to write their great books.  and sometimes it sounds so magical and romantic i would get discouraged and think, i'll never be a writer like that.

but the unique ones, the authors i found that inspired me most, were the ones that really worked to hone their story.  the ones that fought day in and day out, against the block, against the disillusionment, and listened, and waited, and kept on writing, hoping and knowing their story would unfold.

i think of david gutterson, who as a teacher, sacrificed the early morning hours to write over the course of ten years, and eventually came forth with an award winning captivating novel.

i think of anne lamott and her old adage of writing a lot of shitty first drafts.

i think of fitzgerald who said, "all good writing is swimming underwater holding your breath."

and with that i find encouragement amongst a community of strangers whom i feel very deeply connected to because i've read the many beautiful and ugly words that have poured out of their heart, soul, creativity, determined imaginations...and i thought...maybe i too could do this.

and so i try,

in a committed fashion,

to write everyday.

the story is unfolding slowly but surely, and it is like the unfurling of a new love.  it holds the same excitement and intrigue.  you want to slowly peel back the layers to find the depths of its being.