~lovely~

a beautiful sunny day
+painting on fresh white canvases
+a deep conversation
+tears and prayers
+the right scripture at the right moment
+a smooth day at work
+health and wellness
+laughter
+a new handbag
+dinner with a good friend
+the cool night air
+a good book
+a kitty in my lap
=loveliness

catching the prayer wave...

so this evening i caught the prayer wave. the prayer wave is a really cool opportunity for christians in san diego to sort of come together and on a specific day their church will take part by praying for san diego and the communities that they live in. today was journey's day.

so i took an evening walk and strolled around the neighborhood. For the first ten minutes or so I was sort of on auto-pilot. i brought my ipod (kinda a distraction when your intention is prayer) but God rolled with it and melded the music that came up to direct my thoughts to Him.

on my walk what struck me most was, if you walk to the center of our neighborhood, and up a big steep hill, you end up in area of big homes and fancy cars. I found myself on a street towards the top of the hill which has an incredible view, where literally you can look down and see the city of san diego. I had to stop for a moment and take it all in. the things that stood out to me most from this view were alvarado hospital, sdsu, and if i looked out far enough i could see the coronado bridge. As I looked out over the city these are the words that came to mind:

sick
lonely
lost
suicide
comfortably numb

I whole-heartedly believe that God doesn't desire for anyone to remain in such a miserable state. I know and trust His desire is that everyone be saved, and moreover, that everyone enter into a dynamic intimate relationship with Him. Jesus is the cure for the pain of all people.

Yet it seems that I still battle with doubt, and seriously wonder if change is really possible. In my humanness I began to think of all these people, of whom I know nothing, and instead of praying I found myself thinking of the impossibility of change. The more I pondered, the more the transformation of the hearts and lives of all these people seems to be so unlikely.

but in those moments of doubt and frustration, it was as if God lifted my chin with His gentle hand, causing me to look up at the sky, away from the scene around me, and most importantly away from the doubts crowding around in my head.
As I looked up I began to see the night unfold around me. I watched the stars appear across the sky, and the glow of the moon shining down upon me.

It was in that pause, I just had to laugh. GOD IS BIG! suddenly all those doubts seemed so small. As I beheld His glory in the night sky, my heart and mind turned back to prayer. He is bigger than everything, all the pain, all the problems, all the broken hearts, all the false comfort, all the loneliness, all the sickness, all the doubts. He is the cure.

in those moments, all i could muster up, as a way of gratitude, was "wow."

a truly "wow" moment.

Jesus, I pray expectantly! Thank you for Your Love. Thank you that you love me, that you love all the people who surround me tonite. Though I may only have the slightest glimpse of who they are and the circumstances of their life…You know each and every person in this neighborhood, in the hospitals, in the schools, everywhere, wherever they are, whoever they are, you know them intimately, every finite detail of their beings. Nothing is hidden from you. Thank you Jesus. I pray that you would open the eyes of our neighbors tonite, that something as simple as looking at the night sky would open their eyes to You! May they seek you and find You, and may their hearts hunger for You. As we approach Easter, may the message of Your incredible love, and the good news of Your kingdom be made known to them! We know that with you, truly, anything is possible. We trust You Lord! May those who know and follow you, including myself, be empowered to love on those around us, those we encounter day to day, may Your love flow through us! In Jesus' name, Amen!