style icon (part 2)

yep zooey again...i love it!

autumn-ish

the season of fall begins in less than a week! so, i've been compiling my fall music playlists...my favorite kind of music, and so far i am incorporating a lot of the music that made the fall of 2008 so great.

so i hope for new great music this fall! :)

but so far i'm loving:
Vanessa Carlton-come undone
Rachel Griffin-random thoughts
Erin Mccarley-gotta figure this out
Marie Digby-unfold
Mirah-promise
Coldplay-amsterdam
K.S. Rhoads-dark hotel
Mat Kearney-renassiance
Sia-breathe me
Go Set Go-i hate everyone
Ben Lee-birds and bees
Bach-brandenburg concerto #3
Nickel Creek-everything they've ever done:)
Dido-the old stuff:)
Dave Matthews-the solo stuff!
The Cure-the popular stuff
various autumish movie soundtracks and scores
i.e. becoming jane, little women, you've got mail...

Surrender

when i was younger, maybe around seventeen years old, i remember really grappling with the concept of "surrender." I wondered how it worked, what it looked like in real life...my life...any life. having attended a christian high school i remember singing a worship song to the Lord during chapels in which over and over we sung the words, "i surrender, all to You..." i never really understood what i was singing. i either took it to far, or perhaps not far enough.

did surrender mean not caring about those things that always plagued me? worry, insecurity, money, the future, etc...or was it relinquishing control over things such as finding a mate, figuring out a career path, or who my friends should be?

how could/can i know?

Jesus' life was surrendered to God. How do I know that? Well, when I read the gospels, I see that all He did, what He said, how He lived was all in loving obedience to God, completely surrendered to His Father's will, even when it meant suffering the worst human suffering imaginable.

How do I get my life to grasp that extent of surrender?

For me, surrender, was always about finding some sort of fixed formula. for example, to truly surrender your life, you must...and then there'd be a check list of some kind. but i've realized lately it is something that really happens from a changed heart.

it evolves from growing deeper in love with the Lord.

now more than ever i long to live a life that is wholly about loving and obeying God! This world is growing so wicked...sometimes, actually, almost always it is so plain to see. i tend to get so fixated on some hope for my life on this earth, like if I could just have this job, or if i could just travel to this country, or if i could just marry this person, or maybe if i had this much money, then i'd be...what? happy? satisfied? complete?

No! None of that will satisfy my soul, nor the innermost longings of my heart.
My heart beats for Jesus.

Surrender is being so far removed from the anger, bitterness, and resentment that once clouded the eyes of my heart.

it is resting in His love and grace.

God, please keep me here, how my heart longs to actively stay here with You!

thirty things.

it had to go on the list.
thirty things before i am thirty must include seeing the dave matthews band live! what wonder and joy that would bring to my life.
until the opportunity presents itself, I will drive in my truck and put on Before These Crowded Streets and listen to Crush and pretend Dave is in the car serenading me.

a girl can dream...

enjoy :)

thus ending a series focused on prayer...today we looked at enjoyment as a part of our prayer lives.

such a concept! often times prayer and enjoyment are not considered hand in hand.

the obvious point of the day, yet the never really considered point, is the fact that pretending is the death of the enjoyment of prayer. Wow! how often do I pretend? How much do I aim to perfect myself before I approach God? How ridiculous! How long before I learn??? To think I can outsmart God? How foolish can I be?

God is not afraid of me or my stuff!

I can never let my own experience in life thus far, ever trump what God says. No matter what life experiences tell me, no matter how many bad things happen, it does not justify any new belief contrary to what God says.

We have a God whose love never fails! He is Good, He is faithful!

God, this week I long to walk toward shamelessness. I want to bring my whole self, my real self, (no pretending), to prayer. I know this will prove difficult, but I pray for the strength and boldness, for all of us, to involve every part of us, our bodies, our imaginations, our intellect, and our emotions in prayer with you!

reading is...

walking into other worlds I would not have otherwise known.


i love reading when life is good, when life is hard, when life is busy, when life is slow. i love it for whenever. jumping into a book is like jumping into another world. i love the experience you can have when reading a book. it involves such active participation of all of our senses.

the emotional committment reading involves is interesting. you have to think about what you are reading, you have to process what you are reading. you have to see what you are reading. you can smell it too. you can hear it, if you listen hard enough.

you are there. you are an observer. you are part of the stories. you can fall in love. you can cry. you can come to know and love the characters you meet, or you may hate them. you can travel across the world, or meet someone interesting. you can see a real life event that happened many moons ago, or 1500 miles away, but it can be like you are experiencing it firsthand.

reading can open your mind to possibilities, it can challenge the way you think, it can bring you comfort or excitement.

currently i am fretting alongside catherine moreland over henry tilney, i am walking alongside robbie turner during WWII in deep anguish, i am seeing the events and the people involved in the columbine massacre from a much more emotional and detailed perspective, and i am learning more about how Jesus connects with us in our hurts and sorrows, and seeing His hurts and sorrows in a deeper realness than I ever have before.

hmmm...

"Sometimes affection is a shy flower that takes time to blossom."

If Ted Mosby was real...

today, and maybe only today, I'd marry this guy.

just because he perpetuates my dream of an ideal man.