paradise, family, and other christmas musings...

i think there is something lovely to be birthed each new christmas. i think there is always something new to discover, something revolutionary to grasp, a new meaning to derive from the story of christmas, the giving of gifts revives our gratitude and appreciation of one another, the togetherness that happens can encourage or crush us. i find that in my family, togetherness always results in some sort of friction. we fall victim to idealizing what the holidays should be and when we finally come together to what is, someone says something wrong, someone gets upset, alienation occurs and now the christmas celebration is colored with anger, sadness, and disappointment. i always wonder, why can't we just have one day, one day of total peace and getting along. i think we all want that. we expect that at christmas time, for at least one day, we can put our differences aside, and not let our ill feelings control our actions, but it never seems to happen how i hope it.

last night at church we talked about how Christmas stirs up this longing for paradise that we all have. we all expect one day of paradise at christmas, and wonder why it cannot last longer. in my own life, i've noticed this longing is running rampant in my soul, stronger and deeper than ever. i think that longing grows when life deals crushing blows. pastor ed noted that when we don't have much to lose we have an easier time of connecting with God and the longing for paradise. i honestly feel like i don't have a lot to lose, and therefore, finding God, connecting with Him, longing for the fulfillment of paradise with Jesus is really easy, and at the top of my list. though i'm in no way saying that people who have a lot, and a lot of good things at that, don't have the desire to connect with God. i just think at this point in my life i don't have as many things to distract me from my desire for Him. and i am thankful for that.

earlier this year coldplay released a song called paradise. i fell in love with this song the first time i heard it. a beautiful lyric from it that stayed with me that goes, "when she was just a girl, she expected the world, but it flew away from her reach, and she ran away in her sleep, and she dreamed of paradise, every time she closed her eyes." it's a funny thing how much this song stirred hope in my heart in my darkest moments this year...and perhaps even more fitting when they sang this song at church last night. as long as i have been going to journey it's as if God has been speaking to me along the whole way, through song, art, scripture, words, prayers, who i am sitting next to, a book mentioned, a testimony told...it is always relevant to me, wherever i am at, whatever i am feeling. i have never had quite a church experience like this. it has been especially meaningful to me, as i've walked more difficult paths the last couple of years.

the song is such a good reminder that hope is not lost. i still look with hope to God this christmas. i pray the same for all hearts...that hope would be stirred up this christmas, whether we are walking in our darkest hour, or carrying life's greatest moment of joy. no matter where we are, i am sure that we all have that longing for paradise. that hope for something good to last. it may not quite be within our reach today, but someday, we can and will have it.

until then, this christmas. and the time that follows we can dream of paradise. we can prepare for paradise. we can set our hearts on the One who made paradise and designed us for it. and especially for today and christmas to follow we can tune our hearts to Him. He longs to connect with us. the signs may be small, but they're there. His heart is for us. He is calling us, drawing us in. It began with a baby in a manger, and the call is still there for us today. look at the moon and the stars, feel the wind on your face, smell the pine trees, look at the family, hope exists, paradise is within our reach.