october's wonder//i can be somebody

every month i make a playlist of tunes that guide me through the 30ish day journey that happens twelve times a year.

every month has its own flavor.

and every month, invariably carries its own theme.

january is always titled in conjunction with joy.  a fresh start welcomes the calm songs of winter that inspire and soothe, paving the way to a beautiful new year.

february tunes are always themed around love, because in spite of any bitterness that may encircle my heart around the 14th of this month, i am a sucker for a sweet song that so beautifully articulates the complex emotion and decision of love.

and the months carry on and winter songs turn to spring tunes and soon the lists take on a life of their own and begin to encapsulate the fire and life of early summer.  and things return to a certain melancholy when fall comes and i find songs taking me to a familiar place of comfort, hope and soon holiday anticipation.

all the while i find that music for me is a form of therapy.  it is something that helps me manage my emotions and clarify my feelings.  it is especially so in times of stress and busyness and complicated emotions that i have yet to figure out.  the music that i fill time and space with demands to be heard and felt, whether i am driving to work, taking a shower, walking the pup, or simply sitting and being.

it is with the songs that i begin to channel what it is i am feeling by the words that resonate with my heart.  i begin to harness the thoughts to put words to the feelings about many things that for a long while seem to remain unclear and intangible because they are clouded with emotion. but eventually the guidance of song and the truths the lyrics often bring about the realities in my own mind and heart to the forefront.

as i was walking around the neighborhood the other night with my october playlist in full swing i came across a song that also ran on my september playlist and seemed necessary to carry into october though i could not name its significance to me at the time.

but as i walked under a starry clear night sky october has so wondrously offered, i really began to listen beyond the beats and the groove of a song, and i finally heard the words, and i felt enveloped by hope.  i felt a sudden closeness with the Lord as tears began to fill my eyes.  it was a reminder that my prayers have been heard.  that he ultimately knows.  it was the grace of knowing He's got me.  it was moments of peace that so suddenly caught me right where i was.  it was a relief to experience such unexpected peace and hope amid a collection of stressful days and weeks.

it was unexpected grace in song, in nature and in my heart of hearts.  it was pure wonder and amazement...all molded into one moment.  and it is so special and precious when it is birthed from a simple song.