and it was.
the year unfolded differently than i imagined, but it always does, doesn't it?
there are so many blessings i could recount here that just took me totally and utterly by surprise and there are others that i quietly whisper my gratitude for in the solitude of my own space and my own heart.
i took a chances.
and i conquered fears.
i hung onto a great deal of fear and worry until it became utterly crippling and i decided with the strength of the Lord that i had to let go and unclasp my grip on the unspeakable horrors that often haunt my thoughts and dreams.
i chose to believe and to dream again about things i had decided were somehow no longer possible for me...and God granted me the desires of my heart.
there are deep longings that remain within me, but i am learning not to close myself off to them, but rather to hold them in my hands and trust in their root which is the aching longing for deeper communion with my Savior.
there is still a tangible hope for better, for more, for healing, for salvation, for improvement, for dreams amidst a landscape of horrors and a world that seems to worsen with every passing month.
there is still fun & adventure in this little life of mine that i am sooo grateful to have.
there are things i get to do because i am not a wife and a mother and i love the freedom that often affords me.
there are things on my list of 2015 that went untouched and forsaken and it makes my heart ache. but they are things that the gift of a new year, of 2016 allows me to pursue with a whole heart.
as this year closes, i am thankful for the days i am okay and the days i am not. i am thankful for the days i cry and break down and the days i don't because they all teach me something, and as long as i am open to learning, it is all good.
as the year closes, i can once again thank the Lord for a wonderful life, a comfortable home, clothes to wear, food enough to eat and loved ones who stand by willing to help in any way.
in 2016, i am going to strive daily to affect the spirit in my world. i will pray daily to have an open and soft heart. i will pray that i can as often as possible see others as children of God with potential and divinity that they possess.
in 2016, in spite of what may be, or perhaps because of it, i want to be of good cheer. i know that i am up against a formidable enemy, so i must pray daily for the strength and energy to overcome. i am choosing in 2016 to be of good cheer and to let that bless my life and those that surround me.
as the year rapidly approaches, i contemplate my theme/my verse that will guide me. i pray gumption continues to be a guiding thought, but this year i want more. i want to grow and stretch myself beyond where i find greatest comfort. i want to move and live for and towards the Lord. i want to ensure that my vision for 2016 is about more than me, but also impacts the world around me.
so with a day and a half left of 2015, let's pray that the Lord casts new vision over us and how He is leading us to live in 2016.
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