selfishness to selflessness.

Hi, um... hello. I'm Mia. Um, it's stopped raining! I'm really no good at speech-making. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away, or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn't need to know that... But I'm not so afraid anymore. See, my father helped me. Earlier this evening had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne. And my mother helped me, by telling me it was ok, and by supporting me like she has for my entire life. But then I wondered how I'd feel after abdicating my role as Princess of Genovia. Would I feel relieved, or would I feel sad? And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word 'I.' And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there's like seven billion other people out there on the planet, and... sorry, I'm going too fast. But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time.
See, if i were Princess of Genovia, then my thoughts and the thoughts of people smarter than me would be much better heard, and just maybe those thoughts could be turned into actions. So this morning when I woke up, I was Mia Thermopolis. But now I choose to be forevermore, Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia.

Okay, I would be lying if I said I still didn't heart princess diaries in that teenage girl way, where you kinda wish someone would come along and just be like, "oh yeah, you're a princess." This whole speech Anne Hathaway's character gives at the end of the film popped into my mind as I was journaling and reflecting upon the past year, and brainstorming over 2010. I mean I think we can all relate to the sentiment she is expressing here:

But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time.

yeah, totally convicted. All of my reflection, all of my planning, all of my dreaming and scheming, hoping and wishing, all of it is about me. What I want, how I feel, when I want it, how I want it to happen, where I want to have it, what I think I so desperately need, never factoring in, you. And You. You, them, and you. It's always me. and I wonder why I am constantly drying up, and feeling so utterly drained by life? hmmm...cause it's all about me?
If my life involved more others-thinking...wow, I can't even begin to imagine the possibilities. Sometimes our careers, professions, ministries, etc. are all about other people. However, we can still so easily be me-focused in the midst of that.

I encounter people everyday who are only out for themselves, never thinking of or considering another soul, and frankly it is completely unappealing! Rather heinously unattractive.

I am not entirely sure where to begin. I just know that I don't want to be stuck in this me-ness. It's messy and lonely here.
Thinking about others, realizing there out there moment by moment, I suppose that's a good starting place...
i'm feeling that 2010 is going to be about transformation. perhaps transformation will come in shapes and forms I could never imagine for myself. i'm letting go and taking myself out of #1.