2009...just thinking about you.

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
"The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results."
~James Dean

I wouldn't exactly consider James Dean to be my point of inspiration, but the man did say some pretty poignant stuff, for someone who only lived to be twenty four years old.

I feel like life is just passing me by and I am not really enjoying it. It's sort of like being in this really great museum and you wanna make sure you see everything, but it isn't until you leave and everything you saw, you begin to absorb, and really appreciate it. I feel like I've just been taking life in. Some things have been really wonderful and amazing, and of course some things have just been wretched and awful.

I don't like this existence I've adapted, where I am always working toward the next thing, worrying about the next day, and never really existing in the moment. I like the idea of living the day as if it was my last. It's really too much to comprehend, but I think if I really tried it, I would actually sit and watch the sunset, I would tell everyone I loved them, and realize how petty it is to hold grudges and dwell in anger. I'd probably be less concerned with the status of my bank account, or the impending doom of the next day.

I also think there is something to be said for the actual doing of life. I am always working toward a goal or some sort of end result, never realizing, as Dean alluded to, that the true enjoyment in life really is in the process of what we are working toward. The accomplishments are great, but the work to get there is truly the satisfying part...I don't want to miss out on any of it, while I am still here, by the grace of God, to experience all of this. Life. 2009. Come what may...I'll dream, I'll work hard, I will enjoy you, I will strive to cherish everyday you give me.