i was completely impressed and ecstatic with how respectful and enraptured with the show, a crowd of 17,000 people were. ah-mazing!!!!
love this # best...from their most recent album...strict joy!
19 July 2010
strict joy.
i was completely impressed and ecstatic with how respectful and enraptured with the show, a crowd of 17,000 people were. ah-mazing!!!!
love this # best...from their most recent album...strict joy!
14 July 2010
Waiting.
perhaps, the title of this blog seems most fitting because i am literally sitting in a waiting room.
waiting, waiting, waiting...
it's quiet in this waiting.
there are many waiting rooms we encounter in life. there are the literal ones, at doctor's, dentist's, or other offices, and there are the figurative ones. we don't always choose these waiting rooms, sometimes we are just placed there for undetermined amounts of time. we have choices when we are there. we can sit quietly and let time pass. we can do something productive while we wait, or we can flee, because the waiting is just too gruesome.
I believe God has me in a place of waiting. this doesn't mean that life stops moving forwards, or that i am not participating and making wise choices to keep my life in motion, it doesn't mean that i am sitting still, staring out the window, drooling on myself...but i am waiting.
He is working in me...i really feel it...something big is happening...
i am so beyond grateful to have been introduced to Sue Monk Kidd. she is my kindred soul, a mentor of sorts. i was introduced to her by another mentor who has been guiding me in my spiritual journey. i have learned so much from her in such a short time. though our life paths differ greatly, our emotional and spiritual paths are so so similar, it is eerie.
she writes in one of her finest works, that the waiting times in life do not mean that we are disengaged in life. waiting is a painful process, but it is so beautiful when you can look at it through eyes that aren't impatient and angry with the waiting. she likens the process to that of a butterfly or a flower, and how they each evolve in a unique process. each spend time in darkness (waiting) until they are ready to become what God made them to be...something extraordinary, precious, and beautiful. a butterfly must be born a catepillar, endure a cocoon, and then grow to become what it was made to be. flowers start as seeds, planted deep in the dark soil, and take time to grow up, and make their way out, as a beautiful creation the way God intended them to be.
right now i am buried in the soil...but i am being watered and fed, equipped and prepared for something new, something wonderful, something big.
the waiting can be grueling, but it will never be worth it if i keep running away from it.
Lord, help me not to run away.
I believe God has me in a place of waiting. this doesn't mean that life stops moving forwards, or that i am not participating and making wise choices to keep my life in motion, it doesn't mean that i am sitting still, staring out the window, drooling on myself...but i am waiting.
He is working in me...i really feel it...something big is happening...
i am so beyond grateful to have been introduced to Sue Monk Kidd. she is my kindred soul, a mentor of sorts. i was introduced to her by another mentor who has been guiding me in my spiritual journey. i have learned so much from her in such a short time. though our life paths differ greatly, our emotional and spiritual paths are so so similar, it is eerie.
she writes in one of her finest works, that the waiting times in life do not mean that we are disengaged in life. waiting is a painful process, but it is so beautiful when you can look at it through eyes that aren't impatient and angry with the waiting. she likens the process to that of a butterfly or a flower, and how they each evolve in a unique process. each spend time in darkness (waiting) until they are ready to become what God made them to be...something extraordinary, precious, and beautiful. a butterfly must be born a catepillar, endure a cocoon, and then grow to become what it was made to be. flowers start as seeds, planted deep in the dark soil, and take time to grow up, and make their way out, as a beautiful creation the way God intended them to be.
right now i am buried in the soil...but i am being watered and fed, equipped and prepared for something new, something wonderful, something big.
the waiting can be grueling, but it will never be worth it if i keep running away from it.
Lord, help me not to run away.
06 July 2010
bloom where you are planted.
Israel, return to the Lord your God,
because your sins have made you fall.
Come back to the Lord
and say these words to him:
"Take away all our sin
and kindly receive us,
and we will keep the promises we made to you.
The people of Israel will again live under my protection.
They will grow like the grain,
they will bloom like a vine,
and they will be as famous as the wine of Lebanon.
13 June 2010
thoughts.
1) If I could, I would spend every day reading, painting, swimming, walking, perusing book stores, and cuddling with my kitty.
2) I have never lived anywhere but Southern California. If I could live anywhere else, I would live in Seattle, Portland, or maybe somewhere in Greece.
3) My favorite books are The Catcher in the Rye, The Bell Jar, and To Kill a Mockingbird. I dream to contribute something as noteworthy as these novels to the world of literature.
4) My 90 year old grandma is the dearest, loveliest person I know. When I am 90 I hope to be someone like her.
5) My life goal is to teach the Bible & Literature in any capacity God allows me.
6) I like movies and books that portray the life of a strong female protagonist. It is beautiful to watch/read as she finds herself, creates a new life path, and is able to express herself beautifully. This inspires me to live with purpose.
7) If I was locked in a room for twenty four hours straight...all I would want are blank canvases and acrylic paint!
8) I love male vocalists, with soft deep voices, who write poetic and meaningful lyrics accompanied by a guitar or a piano. They calm me and inspire me in unexplainable ways, help me sleep, and write. (i.e. Greg Laswell, Joshua Radin, K.S. Rhoads, Sam Beam, Justin Vernon, Ben Lee, and Mat Kearney).
9) Independence Day and Christmas Day are my favorite days of the year, I want to feel every moment of them.
10) June gloom inspires and comforts me...i wish it'd hang on a little longer.
11) I have a profound respect for female young adult authors that tackle real life teen issues in beautiful, honest, and healing ways. (i.e. Laurie Halse Andersen, Sarah Dessen, Rachel Cohn & Sara Zarr) I want to write like them, and communicate a positive message to teenage girls.
12) When I get depressed or discouraged with life, I like to imagine myself in another life that usually takes me to another country like Italy, in which I spend my days writing novels, drinking cappuccinos, taking long walks, and totally free of any commitments.
13) Jackson Pollock's Blue Poles is the most beautiful painting I've ever seen. If I look at it long enough, I start to cry. Creating paintings with that much emotion is an incredible gift I long for.
15) I think getting my teaching credential is the best decision I've made, but it has been the most difficult journey.
16) I never feel more at peace with who I am and who God is than when I am outside communing with Him in His extraordinary creation.
17) If I never get married or have kids, I will become the crazy cat lady!
18) Injustice, oppression, and apathy break my heart and challenge me to live my life unselfishly.
19) I like to think I make a difference in people's lives by providing them with a quality espresso beverage and a friendly smile.
20) My dream career is to be a novelist.
2) I have never lived anywhere but Southern California. If I could live anywhere else, I would live in Seattle, Portland, or maybe somewhere in Greece.
3) My favorite books are The Catcher in the Rye, The Bell Jar, and To Kill a Mockingbird. I dream to contribute something as noteworthy as these novels to the world of literature.
4) My 90 year old grandma is the dearest, loveliest person I know. When I am 90 I hope to be someone like her.
5) My life goal is to teach the Bible & Literature in any capacity God allows me.
6) I like movies and books that portray the life of a strong female protagonist. It is beautiful to watch/read as she finds herself, creates a new life path, and is able to express herself beautifully. This inspires me to live with purpose.
7) If I was locked in a room for twenty four hours straight...all I would want are blank canvases and acrylic paint!
8) I love male vocalists, with soft deep voices, who write poetic and meaningful lyrics accompanied by a guitar or a piano. They calm me and inspire me in unexplainable ways, help me sleep, and write. (i.e. Greg Laswell, Joshua Radin, K.S. Rhoads, Sam Beam, Justin Vernon, Ben Lee, and Mat Kearney).
9) Independence Day and Christmas Day are my favorite days of the year, I want to feel every moment of them.
10) June gloom inspires and comforts me...i wish it'd hang on a little longer.
11) I have a profound respect for female young adult authors that tackle real life teen issues in beautiful, honest, and healing ways. (i.e. Laurie Halse Andersen, Sarah Dessen, Rachel Cohn & Sara Zarr) I want to write like them, and communicate a positive message to teenage girls.
12) When I get depressed or discouraged with life, I like to imagine myself in another life that usually takes me to another country like Italy, in which I spend my days writing novels, drinking cappuccinos, taking long walks, and totally free of any commitments.
13) Jackson Pollock's Blue Poles is the most beautiful painting I've ever seen. If I look at it long enough, I start to cry. Creating paintings with that much emotion is an incredible gift I long for.
15) I think getting my teaching credential is the best decision I've made, but it has been the most difficult journey.
16) I never feel more at peace with who I am and who God is than when I am outside communing with Him in His extraordinary creation.
17) If I never get married or have kids, I will become the crazy cat lady!
18) Injustice, oppression, and apathy break my heart and challenge me to live my life unselfishly.
19) I like to think I make a difference in people's lives by providing them with a quality espresso beverage and a friendly smile.
20) My dream career is to be a novelist.
12 June 2010
whales, elephants, and owls, oh my!
i am bubbling with creative energy right now. i wish i was in my art room with blank canvases and a colorful palette with clean brushes and light classical music. i am loving bright colors right now! pinks, greens, purples, and blues...pink whales, green elephants, and purple owls!
i solely want babies so i can decorate a nursery with bright colorful random animals!
how adorable is this pink whale umbrella? found here:
i solely want babies so i can decorate a nursery with bright colorful random animals!
how adorable is this pink whale umbrella? found here:
since i am actually in class right now, i best start paying attention! :)
09 June 2010
pop,
i smelled a fresh cucumber and i thought of you. i imagined biting into a plump, juicy, bright tomato and i thought of you. i see a garden of fresh flowers and strawberries with tools lying around and i think of you. two years already. you're missed.
08 June 2010
gloomy, glorious, wonderful, dread!
i have been feeling so chaotic inside lately. i cannot seem to get my grasp on reality...i have been straying so deeply into my superbly skewed perspective of things. what is real? what is real? i continue to ask myself in an attempt to not get so entirely lost in the chaotic messy emotional mess that is my brain.
i am seriously dreading this week. dreading...i don't want to do all of the school tasks ahead of me. everything is so entirely out of my comfort zone. i know come sunday, God willing, I will wake up in my own bed and be so pleased with how the week went and that i conquered fear and boldly grasped life by the balls, but i just can't seem to appreciate the likelihood of that outcome until i arrive there.
i just wish it all didn't seem so daunting and dreadful in the meantime! ugh! oh well, the shiny bright spot in all of this is that i do have some cute outfits to sport this week...perhaps i will post some pics of these adorable ensembles on here :)
another shiny bright spot is the grand encouragement this week, from who else, but teachers from my past. how odd the timing of that now that i think of it :) it has been truly a blessing to hear from my delightful speech teacher from high school share her words of wisdom on the topic of "courage" and my college professor sent me a nice little message of encouragement that just made my day! gosh, i didn't realize how special any of this was until i actually typed it out here. Thank You Lord for that! What Gorgeous Timing You Have! Why do I doubt???
with all of this "big" school stuff coming up...i have the opportunity to take a few days off work, which is of course very nice, but this little break seems to have come when things finally seem to be gelling. hmmph! well i cannot curse and praise timing in the same post, so i will just hope next week will continue that way!
"W" still comes in everyday. i guess i didn't scare him off, i guess i kind of hoped that i had. so since i haven't i am now managing to be not so shaky and my heartbeat craziness that takes place the second he walks in the door has subsided to maybe a 120 beats per minute ;) i actually produce coherent words from my ever fumbling mouth with him when i do have the opportunity to interact and he just looks at me so sweetly, but there is always a perplexed nature that colors his "oh so sweet: expressions. i like that maybe i've confused him, or that i make him a little nervous. he just makes my days a little more interesting ;)
and i seem to find myself increasingly drawn to "J." he is seriously one of the nicest people i have ever met of the male variety...i am not sure what to make of him, but i highly enjoy being in his presence.
other than that, i am also highly enjoying the gloom and cool of june. it is romancing me in such a glorious way. in spite of nerves running high, i find having the window open, or being outdoors seriously calms my soul.
and michael buble seems to be the perfectly fitting running theme music for june thus far. if i ever have my dream wedding...which will consist of about eight to ten people (and that includes me and that dude i will call my husband) we will dance to this song (if he's okay with it.) outdoors under the soft moonlight!
i am seriously dreading this week. dreading...i don't want to do all of the school tasks ahead of me. everything is so entirely out of my comfort zone. i know come sunday, God willing, I will wake up in my own bed and be so pleased with how the week went and that i conquered fear and boldly grasped life by the balls, but i just can't seem to appreciate the likelihood of that outcome until i arrive there.
i just wish it all didn't seem so daunting and dreadful in the meantime! ugh! oh well, the shiny bright spot in all of this is that i do have some cute outfits to sport this week...perhaps i will post some pics of these adorable ensembles on here :)
another shiny bright spot is the grand encouragement this week, from who else, but teachers from my past. how odd the timing of that now that i think of it :) it has been truly a blessing to hear from my delightful speech teacher from high school share her words of wisdom on the topic of "courage" and my college professor sent me a nice little message of encouragement that just made my day! gosh, i didn't realize how special any of this was until i actually typed it out here. Thank You Lord for that! What Gorgeous Timing You Have! Why do I doubt???
with all of this "big" school stuff coming up...i have the opportunity to take a few days off work, which is of course very nice, but this little break seems to have come when things finally seem to be gelling. hmmph! well i cannot curse and praise timing in the same post, so i will just hope next week will continue that way!
"W" still comes in everyday. i guess i didn't scare him off, i guess i kind of hoped that i had. so since i haven't i am now managing to be not so shaky and my heartbeat craziness that takes place the second he walks in the door has subsided to maybe a 120 beats per minute ;) i actually produce coherent words from my ever fumbling mouth with him when i do have the opportunity to interact and he just looks at me so sweetly, but there is always a perplexed nature that colors his "oh so sweet: expressions. i like that maybe i've confused him, or that i make him a little nervous. he just makes my days a little more interesting ;)
and i seem to find myself increasingly drawn to "J." he is seriously one of the nicest people i have ever met of the male variety...i am not sure what to make of him, but i highly enjoy being in his presence.
other than that, i am also highly enjoying the gloom and cool of june. it is romancing me in such a glorious way. in spite of nerves running high, i find having the window open, or being outdoors seriously calms my soul.
and michael buble seems to be the perfectly fitting running theme music for june thus far. if i ever have my dream wedding...which will consist of about eight to ten people (and that includes me and that dude i will call my husband) we will dance to this song (if he's okay with it.) outdoors under the soft moonlight!
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