belief//2017

This year I am choosing to believe.  I am deciding that belief is a path to a better life.  The idea itself seems so basic.  After all, I often refer to myself a believer and I often attest to the many things I believe in.  Yet I find what has really shaped the past year of my life is a lack of belief.

As the Christmas season rolled around, I revisited the story of our Lord's coming to earth as part of an annual tradition of preparing my heart for the Christmas celebration. And once again, the Lord revealed this story, His story through a new lens. And I don't take this lightly or for granted.  Because a story, one that you've known since childhood, one that you've read over and over and over can grow quite dull.  And after 25+ years of consciously reading it and understanding it, one might be hard pressed to find something new in it.

But alas...

this Christmas season, I prayed for new eyes to see and experience the story, yet again.

 I examined Luke 1, I watched The Nativity Story (2006) for the first time, I sat and listened to the Christmas story presented in our Christmas Eve service, I went to a Christmas concert in which one of the Jazz musicians took a break from his saxophone to wax poetically about the true meaning of Christmas (that is it being reflected in the belief of Mary and Joseph) and all of these experiences tied together lent themselves to once again reshaping my Christmas experience.

I saw the Christmas story through the lens of belief.
Simple? Yes.  But new.  New for me, anyways.  A new way of seeing it and a way that I needed to see it, because it convicted my heart so.

I recognize that this idea of belief is so essential to living a full life.

Belief is a part of a courageous and meaningful existence. 

A lack of belief equates itself with a life that is fear filled, full of doubt and more than likely some kind of self-hatred.

I can attest to this.

My lack of belief is shaped so much in being my own worst critic, in being doubtful and afraid.

Mary, a humble young woman was given an unbelievable promise that could only be fulfilled by Christ.  She did not let fear, doubt or self-criticism shape her response.  Instead she believed and her soul magnified the Lord: "My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.  For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed, for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name." (Luke 1:46-49) She pondered the promises in her heart.  Blessings came to her and those around her as well.  Eventually everyone who believed would believe because of her belief.

Belief can have a transforming impact on those around us.

Our belief can shape the belief in and of others. 

My belief is a response to trusting God at His Word, even when I can't understand how it will all work out.  This is my deepest prayer in 2017.  I pray that the Lord will help my unbelief.  Because it is there.  Constantly.  In all forms.  I trust that stepping out and believing God at His word will cause my life to take an entirely different shape, and I welcome that.

I know it will not be easy.  Because belief is easy to talk about, but it is much harder to do.

 I am believing in God.  I believe in His Son who was sent to earth, who lived and died for me to know Him and share Him with others. I believe that the Holy Spirit is my guide.  I believe in myself because of who God has made me, in His image.

  I am actively, moment by moment, choosing/praying to not let fear, doubt and self-criticism define me and my choices.

I am aiming higher because of belief.  I am not settling because I believe there is something greater as I follow closer after the Lord.  I want, like Mary, to be a humble servant of my God and know that He can tell, ask, allow whatever to befall me and know I will walk forward in unabashed belief.

Luke 1:45~"And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord."

To live in brazen and blatant belief in full view of the world around me is what I want.
It is what I need.
It is what I will honestly and openly pursue.

To believe, not out of naivety, but faith.  I want the Lord to find me at any moment, candidly, unhesitatingly willing to follow His call.  I want Him to know, no matter what is said or done around me, that I will believe and follow after Him.

I want Him to find me, without pretense, ready and willing, not crippled by self-doubt, but standing on my own two feet, saying "wherever You are, that is where I want to be."