GRACE!

mmm...grace.

unconditional unmerited undeserved grace.

I loved this song they sang tonight in church. beautifully honest.
credit goes to switchfoot of course.

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no drug that they could sell
Ah there ain´t no drugs to make me well
There ain´t no drug

There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
It´s not enough
The sickness is myself

I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I made a mess of me I wanna the get back rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!

We lock our souls in cages
We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free to the ones you love
Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!

There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
The sickness is myself

I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!

this truth resonates in my heart and soul.
this is the battle. it's so hard to not walk around ashamed, masking pain, masking the mess that is me. i am awake to the pain of not being able to control my life the way i thought i could. i am always trying to fix everything, cover up the symptoms, manage the sin. i am so humbly grateful that grace does not depend on me or anything i can do, but solely on a faithful always loving God. Grace destroys my toxic thinking. Grace neutralizes sin's power. God is not ashamed of who i am.

Truth, Grace. Let it reign Lord. Reign Lord.