the mean reds.

the crimson wave, the mean reds, whatever it is called, has come with a vengeance tonight. i am awake. wide awake. i have never been more aware of how quiet it is at night. the low hum of the ceiling fan hangs over me. a certain sense of aloneness envelops me.

the pain keeps me awake, so i am loading up on bayer, a bottle of water, and a heating pad, in a effort to combat this monthly curse.

and then I found myself reading. and before i knew it, i had read through the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. it's an hour before i am to be awake and my mind is reeling over this masterpiece. seriously, cannot believe i haven't read this since i was a child. i've always adored c.s. lewis, i rarely touch his works of fiction, and that saddens me a bit because this is such a beautiful story. i love the friendship of lucy and tumnus. it demonstrates such sweet innocence and i loved the way Lewis describes the feeling the children experience when they first hear about Aslan.



And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning-either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again.

i am actually so glad the mean reds kept me awake tonight. i am so glad instead of sleeping i read this book again. i am thankful for what i generally dread coming every month, stirred me awake to read and ponder. today i will walk in tiredness and inspiration.